You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
