btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
