the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
