i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Randomize
