Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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