I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize