Porn is love you can see.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
