I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
do herpes really smell.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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