erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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