I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
