Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
