Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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