So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Randomize
