I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
