This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
