Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
