My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
