Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
