I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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