She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize