Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
