Christians are straight up FREAKS
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
