i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
