hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
