I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
