what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
