so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
