You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
