if i died would you start the facebook group?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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