We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
