I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
please come you make the beer taste better
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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