Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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