i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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