yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
