So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
