areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
