Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize