grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
