she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize