Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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