And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
