dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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