Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
no, he came in my armpit
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
