roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
