a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I pour the whiskey from now on
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
