We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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