stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
