She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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