PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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