well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I am spending my child support on dildos
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we're making bets on your personal life
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize