the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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