It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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