I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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