don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
