Just cropdusted the office
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize