I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I love having hate sex.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
