just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
