we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize