Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
