I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
