it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
