I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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