One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
this is an emotional support booty call
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize