Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
