I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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