my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
