im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize