He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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