i think i have herpe
just one?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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