know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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