College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i came on her dog
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
