Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
